Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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