Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
