Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
