so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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