I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
