There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
