Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
