You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
