I think i peed on brittanys purse
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
