so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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