break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
