You made me cry and you don't even care
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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