Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
