I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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