So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
