We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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