well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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