I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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