Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize