I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
