when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
