I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
