I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
