I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
