at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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