Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
