Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
