just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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