Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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