Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
