Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
