tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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