with your own penis?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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