Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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