I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
