Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
