dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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