Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
