Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
