he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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