garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My feet surprised me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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