it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Come share oat with me in your robe
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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