Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize