i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
