I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
