Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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