I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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