yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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