I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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