'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
