They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
