i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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