After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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