i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
