Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize