There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
