he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
