eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
