ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize