Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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