i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
