Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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