It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize