I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
